How to Respond When a Guy Asks to Get to Know You Better

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A guy has asked you out, or you know that he's planning to. It'due south hard to say the right thing, specially if you lot've never been in this situation earlier! Whether your reply is 100% "Yes!", absolutely "No.", or a definite "Maybe," you might be wondering what exactly you should say to him. Don't worry—this article breaks down all of the different things you tin can say depending on what your answer is.

1. 1

   Make sure that you like this guy. Ask yourself whether yous are really interested in this guy, or if yous're just flattered that he took an interest in you. If you impact base with your feelings and discover that you're a wholehearted "Aye!!" on this guy, then feel free to accept his offer. If yous're lukewarm virtually him, only you feel bad saying no, consider whether it will be easier to reject him now or later.^[1]

2. ii

   Find out what he expects from you lot. Some guys will ask yous out on a first date to a park, a dance, or the movies just to spend fourth dimension with you and get to know you lot better.^[2] Especially if you lot're in unproblematic school, middle schoolhouse, or loftier school, guys might enquire you to exist their girlfriend without arranging a "date". This could mean that he wants to eat luncheon together, or walk habitation together, or hold hands, or more. Some guys might just ask yous to exist their date to a trip the light fantastic or another outcome.

   • Don't be afraid to inquire him what he means. If yous like him, merely he isn't clear near what he wants from you, it is completely your place to ask further. If he says something as vague as, "Will you go out with me?", yous can say, "Sure! What did you lot accept in mind?"
   • If it's a grouping event, make sure that he is inviting y'all explicitly equally his "engagement". If he invites yous forth with him and his friends, it probably ways that he likes you, but information technology doesn't necessarily mean that he'south asking you to be his girlfriend even so. It might exist a way for him to become to know you better, or to gauge whether you like him back before he makes a large move.

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3. three

   Say yes. Your exact response depends on his question. Remember virtually what exactly he is asking you to do, and accept his request if you lot feel comfortable with it. Yous can say something like:

   • "Yes, I'd dearest to."
   • "Definitely, that sounds neat!"
   • "Yes, it's a date!"
   • "Of form I would."
   • "Sure, what practice you want to do?"
   • "That sounds fun!"

4. 4

   Get the details. If the guy asks you lot out on a first date, brand sure that yous get the time and place. Figure out whether he is going to pick you up, or whether he plans to encounter you at that place. Find out if it's a grouping event or just the two of yous. Make sure that you're available on that twenty-four hour period, at that time, and that yous don't have whatever prior plans.

   • Y'all don't need to get the details earlier you lot say yes. The bespeak isn't the event – it'south that this guy wants to spend time with you. If you want to spend time with him, simply agree to go to the event, and work out the details afterwards.
   • Don't be afraid to reschedule if y'all take a disharmonize. If you lot really desire to show him that y'all're interested, offer an culling. Say, "I'd love to go to the movie with you, just I'm going to a friend's birthday party on Friday dark. Could nosotros get on Sabbatum instead?"

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1. one

   Explain your reasons for saying no. Be honest. You don't need to over-justify your decision; it is plenty if you simply aren't attracted to this guy. Yous may exist attracted to the guy, but you can't accept his offer for some reason – maybe your friend likes him, or your parents won't let you lot appointment, or y'all don't feel that you're set for a relationship. No thing the state of affairs, information technology's important that you are honest with this guy and with yourself.^[3]

   • If yous aren't attracted to the guy, that's all you lot need to say. Don't exist mean most information technology, and don't insult him. Say, "I like our friendship, merely I'm not attracted to y'all in that way."
   • If your friend likes him, do not spill the hugger-mugger – unless your friend says that it's okay. Just tell the guy that you aren't interested, and don't hint that in that location is whatsoever other reason backside your choice.
   • If your parents won't let you engagement, experience gratis to be honest with the guy. Be careful, nonetheless, about leading him on or giving him promise. If you tell him that you lot accept a huge beat out on him, merely that y'all can't date him, yous may not stop his advances.
   • If you don't feel that y'all're ready for a relationship, that's okay. You will discover someone in your own time, and information technology will be and then much better if your entire heart is in it. This guy might be the beginning ane to ask you lot out, but he won't be the last.^[iv]

2. ii

   Be clear and straightforward. Don't make excuses, and don't agree to go along a appointment just to be prissy. No doubt, he'd prefer a "yep" over a "no" – but odds are that he'd rather deal with an immediate rejection than force you to go on a pity-date.

3. 3

   Be quick about information technology. Say something simple similar, "I'k sorry, only I don't similar you in that way." You don't need to explain in great detail why you aren't interested; you just demand to get the main idea across. Try not to humiliate him with a long, fatigued-out speech.

   • If he asks for specific reasons, experience complimentary to explain why yous aren't interested. Make sure that you lot don't let information technology become a argue, and don't let him talk you into going out with him. Exist firm and clear. Practise non compromise.
   • If you are friends with the guy, you can cite this as a reason. Say, "I love our friendship, but I'm not romantically attracted to you lot. Tin nosotros keep our friendship how information technology is?"

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1. 1

   Take your time to recollect it over. If you aren't sure, or if you haven't had much dating feel, yous might not exist able to give this guy a solid yeah or no answer right abroad. Tell him that you need to think about information technology, just that you lot'll give him a definite reply in the next few days. Try not to keep him guessing for too long – if he really likes you, he'll be anxiously awaiting your answer.^[5]

   • Make sure that you give him some sort of respond, even if yous only explain why you can't give him a more definite answer yet. Information technology takes courage to enquire out someone that you really like, and the least you can do is acknowledge that you're thinking most it. This is especially important if he asks you out via text, e-mail, or instant messaging: if you lot don't answer, he will have nothing to do but speculate!^[6]

2. two

   Ask your friends and family for advice. Make sure to only inquire people that you trust. Describe the situation, explain why you aren't sure, and weigh out the pros and cons of saying yes or no. Remember: you don't need to take anyone'due south advice, but information technology might help you better understand your own feelings. If you don't experience comfortable asking anyone, make a list of the pros and cons and try to decide on your own.

3. iii

   Give the guy a clear answer. Try to brand your response as close every bit possible to "yeah" or "no", especially if it's conditional. Once you've thought through your pick, get the guy one-on-one and tell him what you've decided. If you lot can't become him alone face-to-face, transport him a text or an instant bulletin.

   • You lot don't need to explain your thought process, especially if had major qualms most going out with this guy. If yous're comfortable doing and so, however, it might aid the guy understand why you took so long to answer him.

4. iv

   Take the time to become to know him better. There's no rush. You don't need to date him right this instant; if he respects you lot, he'll be patient and look until you feel comfortable.^[seven]

   • Tell him, "I like you, just I want to get to know yous amend earlier I commit to a relationship. Let's hang out as friends and see what happens."
   • If you want to say yes, only are non ready to have a human relationship yet, you lot could say "I want to date y'all. I want to hold your mitt. I want to kiss you, but I don't recollect I'thousand ready for a relationship yet." Give him a modest peck on the cheek to prove you lot mean it.

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Add together New Question

• Question

  Is it OK if I don't answer him right away?

  

  John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, allure, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His piece of work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

  

  Dating Coach

  Expert Respond

  Totally! You don't take to blitz anything if y'all aren't prepare, and there'due south aught wrong with telling him yous need to think about it for a bit.

• Question

  I asked a girl out and she said she'll think about it simply she hasn't responded. Should I ask again?

  

  John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people detect love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men'due south Health.

  

  Dating Coach

  Expert Respond

  Admittedly not. Requite her fourth dimension to think it over and she'll get back to you lot. If she doesn't, let it get. There are e'er other fish in the sea!

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Article Summary X

It tin be tough to know how to respond when a guy asks you out, but there'south no demand to stress if y'all stay true to your feelings. To buy some time, try request him what kind of date he has in heed. If y'all're still not certain how to respond, don't be afraid to say that you need a little time to call up well-nigh information technology. After you've taken some time, give him an answer that clearly indicates "yes" or "no." If y'all have complicated feelings or want to take it irksome, say something like, "I want to engagement you lot, but I don't remember I'grand ready for a relationship yet." Nevertheless, if you decide to say yes, simply smiling and say, "Yes, I'd beloved to," and then schedule your engagement. For more advice, including how to say no to a appointment, read on.

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